While my mind is on CAVE dwellers from yesterday's post, I thought I would pass on this top ten list I saw on Josh Reich's blog, a young pastor in Tuscon. Below is his post on a book by Bob Franquiz entitled, Zero to Sixty. It has a chapter on Church Hoppers. Here is how to spot a church hopper and what they mean (my favorite is the last one):
1. “But
my old church…” This usually means they want your church to be like their old
church.
2. “I
just need time to be fed.” This means, “I don’t want to do anything. I’m here
just to sit and see what I can get out of this church, so don’t expect me to
serve in any way, shape, or form.
3. “I’m
looking for a church that teaches the Word.” This means, “I’m looking for a
church that dispenses lots of information without challenging me to do
anything.”
4. “We
came here because we are looking for deep teaching.” This usually means their
last church focused too much on actually obeying the Word. They want a church
that just talks about the Rapture, the Second Coming, who the Hittites were and
the identity of Theophilus.
5. “I
should know my pastor.” This means, “In my last church, I got to know the
pastor, but when the church grew, and the pastor couldn’t have dinner with us
every Tuesday night, I left and came here.”
6. “We
want a church that’s focused on discipling people.” This means, “I want a
church that’s focused on me, not people who are lost.”
7. “I
wish you wouldn’t focus so much on what people need to do.” This means they
don’t like commitment, they don’t like to be told the Bible actually tells them
how to live and follow Jesus. They want to come to church, live in their sin
and have no one tell them this is wrong.
8. “I
wish you wouldn’t talk about money.” This is the best way to tell a pastor “I
don’t give.”
9. “My
old church/pastor was…” The way people come to your church is how they will
leave. If your first conversation with them is all about their last church and
pastor, that is how they will leave your church and how they will go to their
next church.
10. “Pastor,
I’ve been talking to a lot of people and they all say…” Translation: “Me, my spouse and my mother think…” If
they start this way, 99.9% of the time they have no one else who thinks this
way, it is just the best way to complain. If someone has a complaint and uses
this line with me, they need to list all of the names or my best assumption is
they talked to the same person 10 times.
So true sadly. Its honest and trust me peeps, I have seen them all as a pastor that's why this post is so funny. You have missed the one that starts, "we the mature"... And ends "we have to be fed, or don't focus on the needy so much"Personal growth is a personal responsibility!!
Maybe you need to put a disclaimer on!!
Posted by: tim | November 04, 2009 at 01:52
To be offended at this list is a little strange. There is so much real world experience with these quotes. Rather than getting our defenses up we should search our hearts.
Many times people have a buffet mentality when it comes to church, this is not a healthy thing
Posted by: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=749814223 | November 04, 2009 at 08:58
Hey it's ok to make fun of other people, we're pastors! The rest of you who are offended obviously aren't leaders like we are!
That is some of the most ridiculous logic I have ever seen pride come up with.
Esteem others higher than yourselves "pastors". Whatever happened to the servant leader? Since when is it cool to joke about others as if you guys are better than they? What's worse...their consumer mentality or your arrogance and lack of humility under the cover of "you wouldn't understand unless you were a pastor like we are"?
Posted by: Mike | November 04, 2009 at 16:08
Hi,
I agree with you. I don't see the exact list repeating at churches, but the list is repeated in many different ways.
Specially I am very cautious when people come to me and make the statement,
“My old church/pastor was…”
Posted by: Yohan Perera | November 14, 2009 at 09:40
Heard 'em all, been hurt by some, ignored others. Love the list. True, sad and hilarious at the same time. After 30+ years of hard work in the ministry, the idealism of my 20's gave way to the trench work of my 30's, the pressure of the 40's and now the reality of being 50! Cynicism that doesn't turn into burned out bitterness is a lot more fun than denial and dogmatic idealism. I think a sense of humor is a non-negotiable over the long haul of ministry. Call me a heretic. The hoppers have called me way worse names! :)
Posted by: Phil | November 19, 2009 at 19:46
I think this was funny. Anyone who doesn't like this is probably the person that does all that stuff...
Posted by: Brian | December 14, 2009 at 02:00